ARE WE LOST?

"Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going." ----- Rita Mae Brown, Author

WHERE'S THE HUMOR IN FERGUSON, MO?

This past year or so has been rife with incidents challenging the expectations that we live in a “civil society”.  Not the least of these were “what happened” and “why” in a small town, in the middle of the country – Ferguson, Mo. Yesterday the United States Justice Department announced the conclusions of their own investigation into the criminal justice system of that town. Among the findings was evidence of the pervasively bigoted culture of the local police department. Examples included a litany of off-colored, hateful comments and jokes about Blacks that are regularly passed around the department on public emails.

Last night I watched journalist Gwen Ifill, of PBS NewsHour, interviewing two obviously knowledgeable men about the implications of the JD’s findings. She was particularly interested in her guests’ opinions about what it would take to change the culture of the Law Enforcement community in Ferguson.

Full disclosure – Gwen and both of her guests are Black. So they must have experience of what it feels like to be the brunt of bigotry, coarse humor, and have foul language directed at them.

Both men said that they believed the culture was the problem and need to be addressed. Then Gwen raised the issue specifically about the implications of the ongoing emails – passing as jokes and humor in Police Department. But she couldn’t get either guest to answer her question about the role of those types of emails in the culture. You could see the frustration on her face.

Even though they were listening, neither man heard her question. They were so prepared to discuss their own erudite assessment of the situation they missed an important opportunity to address the power of language ----- as in WORDS ---- for inciting action and perpetuating a culture!

ARGH!!! ARGH!!!!  ARGH!!!!

Jokes are important storytelling vehicles. They are also passed along easily and collegially. “Did you hear the one about …” They’re part of the initiation language of the “club”.   The residual images left in everyone’s mind are specific, and memorable, and frequently trigger social responses…  whether a small chuckle, a belly laugh, even a companionable groan, or something more dramatic. And what makes them powerful is when the people engaging with them believe they are based on some truth – something everyone can relate to.  That belief can influence other decisions and actions over time.

Last night it appeared that these two Black experts had become “immune” to the power of WORDS in a civil (or less than civil) society.  It will be interesting to see if there is any more dialogue on this issue. 

GUESS WHO CAME TO DINNER!

Recently I enjoyed a delightful, mid-winter dinner at the home of friends. Must say that it was an “unexpected” invitation. Although these are dear friends, I’m not really in their age group or social circle and I only knew one other guest. So how the dinner came about is as great a story, as the evening activities. Here’s what happened.

One could call Dave, our host,  a bit of an “over achiever” for all of the things that he’s involved with and what he does to help others. The company he works for provides technical computer support – and probably many things that I’m not aware of - to corporations. I have gathered over the years that it is a demanding schedule but not without some “perks” that few companies offer to long-time, loyal employees.

When someone has worked at the company for 10 years, they receive bonuses of 3-month sabbaticals. Here my actual knowledge of the details ends, of course. But Dave recently arrived at his 10-year tenure and he created a very unique concept as his chosen sabbatical. He decided to invite numerous friends, family and their guests to dinner at his home.

Although Dave is not culinary expert or even amateur chef, he planned menus of different gastronomical experiences for 6 guests at each meal.   He researched recipes. Practiced making them.  Even took a class on how to use knives correctly. Did I mention, practice?

Last night’s meal was called Norwegian Szechuan Province and included perfectly cooked salmon spiced with a crust of pistachios, boiled potatoes with parsley, grilled romaine salad (rather like Norwegian kimchi) and just the right wine – Domaine de Vaufuget Vouvray (2012). (“Note to self” having the correct wine pairing really does make a difference.) Dave also found the recipes for Norwegian desserts - delicious almond cake, and rosette cookies! None of this was in his cooking or baking repertoire before preparing for this evening’s meal! But the execution was perfect!  The conversation was cordial and enthusiastic.  A good time was had by all!

How we were each invited was another great story.

Being the technically savvy person, Dave wrote his own computer program for invitations and reservations. He told us that he started with a small list of friends, as a pilot for the program and to ascertain general interest in the project. He sent out the original invites to that small group – but what he forgot to disable was the next step. Before he knew it, the program actually invited his much larger, unedited, personal email list.

The response was exuberant. Reservations quickly flooded in. Of course, the guests for each dinner self-selected, based on their interest in the menus and their schedules. The first two reservations for the first evening were his boss and his mother! That could have been a challenging conversation.  But the circles of guests widened and he planned for 11 evenings.    (He said that number was where his time, culinary experience and creative menus ended. Frankly I doubt that … but he is a goal driven person.) However, his Mother told me that he added two more evenings and still has a waiting list!

In all Dave is preparing unique and different menus for 6 to 8 guests over 13 evenings in February including a special Mardi Gras event.  And by popular demand, he has posted tips, menus, recipes and the like on his blog,  Cooking Sabbatical Blog. By the end of Dave’s sabbatical, 104 people will have experienced a gracious evening of dining and conversation with people whom they may not have met, or would ordinarily not spend a winter’s evening with.

What a gift – from Dave and his wife, Kris – and from a company that honors employees so well.

“Note to self: In our busy, self-focused culture, personal invitations and thoughtful hospitality reign supreme for nurturing friendships and communities.”